I’m feeling happy lately and am basking on it. I’m excited about things again and I’m really looking forward to something. I don’t know. It’s just people really are of interesting kind and universe has a way of working things out.
Camp. At first, I was quite disappointed because I stood up my date. Let me tell you something about him. I know him from high school, we’re not really friends, but his friends are my friends so that makes us kind of friends too. The last time I saw him was, I really can’t exactly remember when, but one thing’s for sure he was kind of drunk that time. Well that was years ago. And last week, out of the blue, he sent a msg on fb and I was surprised and we began chatting. You know that feeling that someone just randomly sends you a message and you suddenly feel that excitement? That’s the feeling. But sadly he’s leaving on Sunday for a training. We set the date to meet and it so happened that plans changed. Oh well! I feel bad about not meeting him because I was really looking forward to it. He’s an old friend after all.
The disappointment I felt was replaced by a sudden surge of joy. I didn’t expect to see him in the camp. He’s the last person I’m expecting to see — my first love. Of all people and yet he was there. Standing without care to the world and a look of disdain in his face. Well, yeah, that was all because of me. He was my first love but our relationship can’t be a normal relationship. We’re off-limits to each other. That is something. I used to love him very very much but things just didn’t work out for us. And here’s the clincher, I cost him his studies. For the longest time I felt nothing but anger towards him. I felt betrayed. And I know he’s feeling the same towards me.
Days before the camp my friend found his pictures on my wallet. I told her, “This is the man I used to love but he’s an idiot!” That was me with unresolved issues. We can’t even look at each other. We can’t be in the same room and breathe easily. That’s us. We have too much history to be casual about things.
The universe conspired. He talked to me and ask me about something.That moment was indescribable. It’s as if the fog was lifted and everything’s ok again. Everything was forgiven when he called my name the way he used to “Dit”. And with it comes seeing my old friends also there, they we’re singing Muntik na Kitang Minahal. They were singing about us actually. They know too much. We didn’t talk about the past. It would be useless to rehash the things that hurt us deeply and cost us things that are precious to us. But one thing I know, all is well now.
Perhaps this is nostalgia. We’ve come along way. We’re two different people now. We’ve seen many people come and go in our lives. A lot of things happened and will happen but hey, look at us, back to the corner where we first met.
P. S. I’ve missed you. A lot. 🙂